


Drop of Fate

by livingwithmermaids



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Weechesters, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 02:25:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4417424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingwithmermaids/pseuds/livingwithmermaids
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean knew, the moment his little brother was placed into his arms, that he would love him for the rest of his life. He knew that Sam was going to be the center of his universe, and he was okay with that.</p><p>It was never really supposed to happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drop of Fate

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I've been looking at the episodes I haven't done and I just have bad writer's block. So I wrote this for today. 
> 
> This DOES have a part where there is attempted rape, but it's not graphic. No clothes are shed, and neither brother is the bad guy. Please be mindful, can't handle, don't read.
> 
>  
> 
> This is inspired by I Found by Amber Run ----> https://youtu.be/Yj6V_a1-EUA

It was never really supposed to happen.

Dean knew, the moment his little brother was placed into his arms, that he would love him for the rest of his life. He knew that Sam was going to be the center of his universe, and he was okay with that.

The first time he really recognized that their brotherly relationship was slowly becoming less brotherly was when he was fifteen, and Sam was eleven. He could remember the jealousy he felt when Sam had come to him, begging him to give him advice on how to ask out some girl he liked. Dean was very tempted to tell his little brother that he was too young to date, or just flat out refuse to help him.

He gave Sam the advice anyway, because it was the only way he could convince himself that he wasn't jealous of the eleven year old girl Sam asked to lunch the next day.

As time went on, Dean's feelings of self-hatred and low self-esteem grew along with his inappropriate attraction for his brother, and it was slowly tearing him from the inside out. When he wasn't trying to please his father -an almost impossible task-, he was also trying to be a parent to the kid the he thought about in the shower. It made him want to just run away from it all, and he actually almost succeeded. Until he met Henry.

Henry was the trusted manager of the local Snack Stop. From what he'd seen when John stopped there while he filled the Impala's gas tank, Henry was friendly with everyone. He was even able to rope his father into a discussion about baseball, which was like was a miracle. So when Dean made his way quietly in the Snack Stop with his wad of stolen cash and his backpack slung over his shoulder, he didn't really think anything of the slightly predatory smile Henry gave him, because John seemed to like him enough to engage in a ten minute conversation with him. He was stupid to forget monsters weren't the only evil things out there.

He could remember the feeling of Henry's hand clasping his shoulder, and the strange gleam in his eye when Dean looked at him.

"Now, what are you doing here by your lonesome at this time of night?" His southern drawl made the words come out slowly, and it made Dean shiver uncomfortably.

"I-I just need some snacks for my brother. He's very demanding." He winced at the stutter in his voice, and he hoped Henry believed his lie. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was just very extremely wrong with the way this man was speaking to him, the way he was standing over him, caging him in, squeezing his shoulder possessively. Henry hummed thoughtfully.

"I think I remember talking to your dad. Nice man, he is. Was that you outside? Near that Chevy?"

Dean nodded nervously, and gently shook off the hand. "That was me. Now, if you don't mind, I really need to get the food and head back to the-"

"Will you do me a favor?" Henry stepped closer to Dean, and he had to look up to meet his eyes. "I have some boxes in the back that I need moved. I'd move them myself, but I recently hurt my arm. Would you mind giving me a hand?"

Dean swallowed and backed away. "No, sorry, I really should get back to my brother and-"

"I could really use someone strong to help me." Henry wrapped his fingers around his arm and pulled him across the store, ignoring Dean's struggling and his pleading protests. He whimpered when he was pushed into the back, and the door was slammed shut. Dean backed away as Henry stalked forward.

"Don't be shy, son. It'll all be okay if you just trust me." Henry lunged, and Dean kicked at him out of instinct, catching him in the stomach. The man stopped and slumped, giving Dean time to knee him in crotch and run like hell out of that store.

He quietly made his way into the motel room and collapsed on his bed, only bothering to push off his backpack before he burst into tears.

"Dean?"

Dean jumped at the sound of his brother's voice by his ear. He turned his head and Sam gasped at his tear stained face.

"Why are you crying?"

Dean fumbled for an excuse. "I-I had a uh... I had a nightmare. A bad one."

For a split second, he could see the suspicion on his brother's face, before it was replaced with determination as he climbed on the bed and wrapped him in a bear hug, snuggling into Dean's side.

"I'll keep the nightmares away."

That just made the tears start all over again, because the feel of Sam's arms around him felt so nice, but he knew that he could never, ever touch his brother like he wanted to. He couldn't do to his own brother what some pervert was going to do to him.

And that just fed the fire of self-hatred and low self-esteem, because he must be one sick of a bitch to want his own brother, and having to compare himself to a pedophile to stop himself from doing anything to him just made him that much worse.

He never tried to run away again, and he never told Sam.

For the next twenty years, Dean made everything normal. He pushed Sam away when he got close enough for him to be able to smell his shampoo, he forced himself to stop thinking about his brother when he got off, and looked away when Sam got dressed. It hard, and it hurt like hell, because he was pretty sure this was going beyond lust and into love as his brother got taller and his voice got deeper and he became more beautiful than he could have ever imagined. It was torture, but it worked, and that was all that mattered.

And then Sam changed everything.

"I can't _believe_ you, Dean!"

Sam's voice was a few octaves higher than normal as he stormed into the motel room, slamming the door and standing chest to chest with Dean. Dean growled.

"All I did was get the damn thing off your tail!"

"Yeah, and almost died in the process!"

Dean shook his head as he toed off his muddy boots and shrugged off his jacket. "Yeah, I did almost die. But you know what? Every hunt we take, we almost die. Hell, we almost die even when we sit on our asses for five hours straight. So go ahead and be pissed, and then get the fuck over it, because you're being ridiculous."

Dean started for the bathroom, when Sam darted forward and spun him around. "I'm not pissed because you almost died, Dean. I'm pissed that you were being stupidly stupid and practically killed yourself for me. Again." Dean opened his mouth to protest, but Sam covered his mouth. "You try and keep me from being really hurt, but you do it in a way that could kill you. What would I do, Dean, if you died saving me, and I came out with just a scratch? What would I do?"

Sam stepped back and looked at him expectantly, arms crossed. Dean looked at the ground and played with his fingers.

"I... I'm sorry. I just can't help it. You have to see it from my point of view."

Sam made a frustrated sound in his throat and stood in Dean's space. "You just don't get it, do you?"

"Wha-"

Dean was cut off as Sam pressed their lips together, ignoring Dean's no responsiveness and pushing his tongue into his mouth. Really, this was Dean's dream. But the same words ran through his head.

_Youweren'tsupposedtotouchhimyouweren'tsupposedtotouchhimyouweren'tsupposedtotouchhim._

Sam stopped kissing him when he felt the tears.

"Oh my God, Dean, I'm so sorry, I-"

Sam started pulling away, and Dean panicked.

"No, wait!"

Sam froze.

"I-I just..." Dean sniffled. "I think there's something I should tell you."

Dean led Sam to his bed and sat, feeling the mattress dip with Sam's weight.

"When I was a kid, I was almost raped."

That was the first time they slept in the same bed since that night.

Now, when Dean looks back on it, he thinks maybe it was supposed to happen, because he's never been happier then when Sam wakes him up and kisses him good morning. He's not one to believe in that true love crap, but when he cuddles against Sam, he can't use any other words to describe it.


End file.
